Whenever you hear about an ego being talked about, isn’t it usually in a bad way? I hear a lot about how “a big ego is bad for you,” and while I believe it’s true to some regard, I have to disagree more than I agree. Today, I want to talk to you about why a big ego is something you should embrace.
Trust me, I hate seeing people who are too cocky and absolutely in love with themselves just as much as the next blogger does. But, is there something actually wrong with really loving yourself and what you do? Is it wrong to think you are better than someone at something when you clearly are? I don’t think there is anything wrong with those things. I just think it’s wrong in certain situations to show how much you love yourself, and wrong to say you are actually better than someone.
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it all.
The above quote is definitely one you have heard if you attended elementary school and behaved unacceptably. I think it ties perfectly into the point I really want to get across in this article.
Think about it like this.
If Blogger A thinks he is better at blogging than Blogger B is, he should continue to think that if that’s what builds his ego. But, he should never tell Blogger B how much better he thinks he is, or ever hint to anyone about what he thinks. In other words, keep it to his self. Why? Because it comes off as rude and arrogant, and many people will hate you for that. But no one will hate you for what you don’t show.
Why Build Your Ego Up Anyways?
You may dislike what I am saying in this article so far, but I promise if you keep reading, and maybe debate with me in the comments, you will get a better idea of why this isn’t such a bad thing.
So why would you want to build your ego up? To me, that’s like asking “Why bother eating?” The answer to both of those questions, however, is “to keep going.”
The most beneficial thing about an ego is how it can inspire you. If you think you are just this great blogger who is happy with the way your blog is going, then I say continue on thinking that. Just don’t let those thoughts blind you from seeing anything that could be wrong with your blog. And always use that motivation you get from your ego to keep building and expanding, so you can keep getting better.
How to Build Your Ego
Really, the big secret to building up your ego is to take any sort of praise or positive comments seriously and let them make you feel great about yourself. Honestly, if you get any sort of praise for anything you do on your blog, enjoy it, because building a blog that is worthy of any good comments nowadays is tough in any niche!
When it comes down to it, it’s up to you and how you think of yourself to let your ego soar. Here are some things you can do to get those pushes you need to start feeling great about yourself.
- Get praise from friends
- Save that praise
- Participate in discussions and debates
- The bigger your blog, the bigger the ego
The people you network with and come to call your friends are just the people you need to motivate you and get you feeling great. The more friends you can talk about your blog with, the better the chances of you hearing things like “you have a blog I’m very jealous of” or “I love what you wrote about in your latest article.”
Do you get fan mail? Messages of praise from Twitter and and in your comments? Ever been interviewed? Save things like that! Any attention you get from someone else, save what they wrote somewhere that you can get to and look at later. It may be just what you need to get out of some sort of slump, or blogging crash.
When you read other blogs, visit other forums, or just use Twitter – take part in any discussions or debates as you can. Doesn’t it feel great when you make a point, and someone agrees with it? And doesn’t it feel even better to win a debate and prove someone wrong? It’s the tiny victories that matter!
The more success you see your blog achieve, and the more people who read your blog can really get you excited! The more you build your blog, the bigger your ego should get, right?
These are just a few things I can think of off the top of my head. What are things you see or hear that get you excited?
Just A Few Words of Warning…
I don’t want to be responsible for creating any ego maniacs here, so I just want to make sure we’re on the same page here:
- It’s fine to love your blog and love what you have achieved with it.
- It’s not fine to go around bloating how you have such a great blog. That’s why you have fans.
Another thing to remember when befriending your ego: Like any good friend, you can get hurt if you become too close. So be careful, and don’t overstep your boundaries here. It’s a powerful feeling to really be happy with what you have accomplished, and sometimes it’s a little hard to not want to rub in someone’s face. But there is a difference between talking about your successes calmly, and obnoxiously talking about them.
What do you think?
I even raised my own eyebrows at some of the things I said in this article, so I can only wonder what you guys have to think about all of this.
Do you agree with me on these ideas? Let me know, because I need a good ego boost right about now. 
The Discussion
Leave a Comment Read Again?Alex, you are superb! One of the top five bloggers that I read… and- wow- I love the site! Your novel approach to old issues is simply mind-boggling. Need more? Just let me know. ;D
Seriously- I enjoy reading and re-reading my testimonials page from time to time… makes me want to go tackle the world! Sometimes, though, it makes me wonder whether they were referring to the same “Steven Corbett” that I know.
.-= Steven Corbett´s last blog ..PHPmotion V3.5 Released! =-.
Haha, now I know what to read if I’m ever feeling uninspired. Thank you sir. :p
I’m just as surprised when I read some of the things people say about me. But, I’ve learned the best thing to do sometimes is to believe them!
Yes testimonials is also my weakness.
I always read what my customers and clients are saying about my service.
I use their words again to get more business from them.
I think ego can become blogging fuel. As example, i always hate if some others blogger defeat me, it is surely hurt my ego — so it make me to work harder so never been beaten by those fellow bloggers again. I think this situation make that ego become fuel for improvement.
.-= Dana @ Blogging Update´s last blog ..This Blog Officially is in Atahualpa 3.4.5 Now =-.
Always take criticisms seriously I say. Too many positive comments can really blind you from seeing anything that is actually wrong with your blog. I hear plenty of ways I can improve my blogs, products, and even myself from people and some I take serious, and some I don’t. Negative comments are just as important to you as positive, but they could harm your ego a bit for sure.
You should have clear mind so that you can easily understand what is write and what is wrong. What to accept and what to not.
and finally divide them as per the priority basis.
.-= Buy 2 Pay for 1 Offer´s last blog ..Rapidshare accounts on sale!!! Low prices =-.
I think there needs to be a middle ground. I don’t like people that big themselves up to the point where they think they are invincible and somehow better than everyone else.
Similarly, I have the same feeling about people that belittle themselves and tell themselves constantly how worthless they are.
I think that yes you do need a good pat on the back from people when you do great things, but also you need to keep your feet firmly on the ground because there is always somebody out there that is doing what you do better than you are doing it.
Good topic, though. You are a legend/genius/wonder-teen/god. LD
.-= Ian´s last blog ..What is Your Definite Major Purpose? =-.
The people who let their ego get the best of them are the people who can really lose their good reputation and following really quick. I don’t like people who show-off a lot, it’s just rude. :/
The whole idea of letting your ego build up, I think is so you don’t become that person who thinks they’re worthless. I try to stay positive as much as I can, but things don’t always turn out that way. You just have to let others encourage you, and hope it will make you feel really great!
Glad you enjoyed the post. I enjoyed the praise. :p
I think you can strengthen your ego not responding to those, who doubt.
And one more thing.
You are always right, no matter what. Don’t ask for supporting you other people, you will not get what you want. People are too spooky and coward. Most of them. That’s why there’s only some limited number of people, who have money and real life.
.-= iWoodpecker´s last blog ..Let This Girl Survive – A Lump of Ice Fell on Her Head Right From the Roof of Multi-Floored Building – on 5th February, 2010 =-.
Yeah strengthen you Ego, rather than responding to it, Its your consciousness and awareness, It is inside you, that controls your body, mind, and emotions.
Ego help us to dream and go beyond our normal means, yet without it can be a normal ride through life, however this does not mean it should be the pilot at all times…
Excellent article! It gives us confidence to do more difficult tasks and Keeps you away from being manipulated by other people. Sometime ego helps to people to succeed, in other word I can say its act as fire and it can make your life better.
Honestly, I don’t know why people bash having a large ego so much. I mean, it makes people feel good to know they’re appreciated. Yes, anyone who goes around gloating about how “great” they are really needs to just tone it down a bit, but as long as they’re happy…should it bother us so bad?
Well unless and until you wont feel arrogance you wont fee rude you will never be able to tell that he is egoistic.
So terms which you decide under ego is not at all call ego. This is called controlling yourself in a well mannered way and that is what differentiate a nice and humble person from egoistic.
But however I am fond of your title’s charisma always. That is your main weapon.
.-= ZK @ Web Marketing Blog´s last blog ..10 Things I Learned From Doing SEO For Competitive Keywords =-.
Awesome. A out of league Article. I somehow understand what you want to tell. I alway heard Ego is Bad and so on but after reading what you have to say, I see positive thing in it.
.-= Agent Deepak´s last blog ..Get your Face on Facebook =-.
Exactly…embrace it.
Whatever you have to do to stay motivated and happy, do it.
For first time in weeks,
I am going to be silent.
My head is bowed,
My heart full of praise.
You said it all,
and fueled the call
of might source {will explain this line later}.
In end I say
I will say no more,
but this one beat
AWESOME – not a word,
I can disagree on.
PS: Sorry about free verse I am not very experienced with it.
PPS: Are you sure you are not reading Steve Pavlina?
Haha! King, you are differentiated
!
.-= Nick Tart´s last blog ..Found in Translation: A Career That’s Not a Gamble =-.
Haha, did you write that just for this article? It’s awesome. :p
I know who he is, I have just never read his blog.
Yes I wrote this just for this article. It is so damn what Abraham Hicks teaches! You are being named Alex the Greater.
Thanks Nick!!!
Btw Steve published this recently: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2010/01/how-to-build-a-stronger-ego/
.-= King Sidharth´s last blog ..A How-to on Hardcore Motivation =-.
Now you did it Alex, my giant head is going to grow to be even more enormous than it already is and it’s going to be your fault.
I believe in personal belief, success is built on it. If you don’t believe in yourself and aren’t willing to stand your ground and show how good you are at something then chances are your probably really not that good.
.-= Extreme John´s last blog ..A Day in the Life of.. Episode 1 [video] =-.
If I am the reason why you will be happy, and proud of yourself, I’ll totally take the blame man! You should enjoy your enormous head, it’ll get you far.
Just don’t play yourself off as better than other people, be one with your ego. I think the biggest problem is when people look down on others because of something about them, physically or otherwise. Having a big ego is bad, but engaging it and running a healthy, happy ego is part of our nature and success in life!
.-= Blogger Den´s last blog ..9 Tricks I Used To Triple My AdSense Earnings In 30 Days =-.
Glad we’re on the same page, you’re obviously a very intelligent blogger.
Hey Alex! I have a gargantuan ego and it doesn’t seem to motivate me as much as it should. I love the point that you made but I’m not sure ‘ego’ is the right word. Maybe ‘confidence’ or ‘trust in your abilities’. I’m not sure.
One thing I absolutely agree with is that a big ego helps as long as you keep it under wraps.
.-= Nick Tart´s last blog ..Found in Translation: A Career That’s Not a Gamble =-.
It should Nick, you have a lot going on! Your Interview project will totally kill, I’m stoked to see how it turns out.
I used the word “ego” just to kind of connect better with more people on the topic. I don’t want that word to be associated with as much negativity as it is anymore. But “confidence” is definitely another fine word to explain this article.
Nah! Confidence is one way of saying it, abilities is another way of saying it, ego is blogger’s way of saying it BUT it’s ‘SELF’. Hail the correct word.
Why ‘SELF’ is your new best friend. Ego is ‘me’ and ‘me’ is self (in positive sense) and being ‘selfish is best thing – always the best thing.
Because if you are not selfish enough to bring out the best in you, to be your best no matter what and stay there regardless of others (that’s really selfish) – until we do that we are no value to others or even ourselves.
Let’s be awesome, let’s be selfish – the egoistic self.
.-= King Sidharth´s last blog ..A How-to on Hardcore Motivation =-.
I agree with you man..
Hi all I have come to my work after a long time. Well you have nicely explained about ego factor. For me when my competitors rise than me then it hurt on my ego and I then try to improve my blog performance also.
.-= chandan´s last blog ..The Super Bowl 2010 =-.
Chandan
I do not understand one thing, you are experienced and old player but even than you are using blogspot.
Don’t you think that such can also give you some kind of ego problem.
It does hurt to see your competition doing better than you…but shouldn’t it motivate you to try and do even better?
You make a really good point with, Too many positive comments can really blind you from seeing anything that is actually wrong with your blog.
What you really don’t want is a comment section full of ‘yes men” or woman.
.-= Dennis Edell´s last blog ..Theme Construction Part 2 – What Should Go WITHIN The Blog? This Is The FUN Part! =-.
It is very beneficial to get negative comments as they serve as sort of a “reality check” to you, you know?
Love your blog, Alex but that picture is just plain creepy
I think that there is nothing wrong with having a healthy ego – IF you can back up what you’re saying. It’s so easy to act as if you know what you’re saying on the web, but you’l be found out pretty quickly if you can’t back it up with true results.
The problem is when you don’t have a healthy ego and don’t believe in yourself very much. Maybe there should be fine balance between the two?
Karen
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Are You Being Your True Authentic Self? =-.
I agree with you !
I always think more of a person with a huge ego, even when it’s too big.
Alex, I definitely agree with what you said although I would describe having a big ego as a bad thing and what you are describing as being confident in who you are and your abilities.
The very definition of egotisical is:
*given to talking about oneself; vain; boastful; opinionated.
*indifferent to the well-being of others; selfish.
Again I completely agree with you but I would say that is being confident not having a big ego.
Your attitude is half the recipe for success. A lot of motivational material talks about acting like you are successful and thinking positively. So I guess having a big ego would be beneficial to being successful..as long as it’s not too big.
i enjoyed what you wrote, but i wished you would have used some more examples of egos other than the blogger’s ego. while i found it really interesting that your ego can be connected to your blogging skills/blog (and was even reinspired to start my own blog!..), i found myself trying to transfer this comparison to my real life ego.
anywho, thanks for the post! interesting
funny blog, I didn’t know kids can think so well, and so interesting.
Ego without arrogance is an awesome thing. It’s not only powerful for you but it inspires other people to have a go because they see your confidence and want to succeed.
Well, I’m a fan of your blog but don’t let it go to your head.
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